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Winter League 2013 Write-Up Predictions   
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Monster



Joined: 06 Apr 2003
Posts: 2946

PostPosted: Sun, 01.13.13 4:06 am    Post subject: Winter League 2013 Write-Up Predictions Reply with quote

Clayclay's Write-up
The first league write-up for the season is crucial, as it sets the standard for all the write-ups to follow. Having said that, Clayclay's predictions get the job done. Each team gets a nice paragraph, but the paragraphs definitely get skinnier towards the bottom. (Writer's fatigue already? Aren't you like, 18? (insert strong wrist joke here)). I also like clayclay's use of prediction cliches such as "on paper," "a force to be reckoned with," and "biggest wild card." All solid stuff. Clayclay's analysis not only parses teams by athleticism against experience (Purple), but also by position (White). He takes the plunge at the end and gives definitive rankings, but where's the win/loss records? My favorite part was Claytons constant search for a team's handle core (Black, White, Lime, and Tan). Seriously, Fayetteville WL, where is your handle core? WHERE IS YOUR HANDLE CORE?

ROCOBallers Write-up
Fulfilling her promise, this write-up was brief. And by brief April meant honest. And by honest April meant cynical. And by cynical April meantĶwell, you get the idea. She wasnt in the best mood that day. In contrast to Claytons write-up, April shies away from looking at teams or strategy and focuses on the players themselves. In April-World, players are either good, talented, enough, or in or out of shape. Everyone knows that in todays Fayetteville Winter League its not about the xs and os, but rather the Jims and Joes. April also sticks to Claytons boldness and throws out a finals victory (Red over Orange). The wild card clich? gets another mention (up to two!), and April makes a comment on a teams sexiness (eye candy), which Clayton failed to do in a big way. Hopefully hes taking notes for summer league. My favorite part of Aprils write-up was the tone with which she delivered this line. Abe Gambert finally learns how frustrating Fayetteville ultimate can truly be. Its a tone devoid of hope, delivered flat like shes delivering a truth so pure and reliable that everyone else (especially the young and inexperienced) will eventually come to the same conclusion. Loved it. Only a true Fayetteville veteran could deliver that line with such unequivocal emotional detachment.

CaseyKs Write-up
Squeezing them in last minuteĶlike a true sportwriter! Casey K decides to go with the history route, ranking teams by what theyve accomplished in the past, and who theyve played with on prior league/series teams. Theres a Red Team Reunion, Fall League Champs+, and Team Monstar minus the Star part. Following in Aprils footsteps, he slips in a beauty ranking (Sebass), whose gender is completely indeterminable. (Although why do we need these antiquated, heteronormative gender constructs? Am I right, Jody?) CaseyK also drops the history about his own first league team, being a classy individual and trying to make Conner feel better about his apparently horrendous league team. Favorite parts include Toby being huggy, more bold predictions, and the first usage of merp as an adjective . CaseyK sums up quintessential Fayetteville ultimate as periods of brilliance interspersed with drops, dirts, and hospital throws. Has there ever been a more perfect description? I dont think so.

Cam Wows Write-up
Wow. I mean wow, Cam Wow. I couldnt help but notice that you filter all the teams through the lens of your own ego. Im not trying to be mean, its just that I notice you used I in every single team description. It isnt enough for a team to have a nasty nasty cutting line," but that Cameron seesĶtheir nasty nasty cutting line. These are some of the things Cam experiences. I see, I wanted, I agree, I got, Im questioning, Im excited, Im predicting, I loved, I dont like, and Im flipping. Now, Im not against first person per se, but that is a lot of shit going on in Camerons head. I liked your break-downs, but the tone of these predictions veered towards Aprils honest side of the spectrum. Except for this bit. My backhand is pretty much one of a kind, and unmatched in Fayetteville ultimate. That was more on CaseyKs generous side of the spectrum. Cam recycles the on paper clich? (one of my faves), but doesnt make a single bold prediction. My favorite part is the sarcasm embedded in SOMEONE fraudulently signed up Casey for league. Does he know who this SOMEONE is? Is detective Cam going to have to go on a wild goose chase chalked full or seedy disc players and femme fatales? Lets hope so.


SEMIS
Clayclays Write-up (1 seed) Vs Cam Wows Write-up (4 seed)
Clayclay destroys Cam Wow in the divisional round. Clayclays never ending search for a handle core easily plows through Cam Wows wandering internal dialogue. No contest.

Clayclay 13- Cam Wow 5.

CaseyKs Write-up (2 seed) Vs ROCOBallers Write-Up (3 seed)
The battle of the briefs! ROCOBaller starts out strong with some passive-aggressive insults, but CaseyK fights back, being just as crotchety and Fayetteville veterany as April. In the end, Dave Chappelle shows up and ROCOBaller becomes a victim of When keeping it real goes wrong.

CaseyK 13 ROCOBaller 10.


FINALS
Clayclays Write-up (1 seed) Vs CaseyKs Write-up (2 seed)
Claytons sharp, lengthy analysis comes out firing on all cylinders, but unfortunately, those huge paragraphs are damn near untweetable. CaseyK connects to the younger generation, with rapid fire bursts of name dropping, jokes, and heart wrenching anecdotes. CaseyK weaves through Claytons predictions, blending humor and truth, stories of failure with unparalleled success. At one point he sighs at Jones. Thats the only proper reaction for Jones! THAT'S THE ONLY PROPER REACTION FOR JONES! Claytons predictions play a good game, but itll be years before he learns to weave hardcore analysis with humor and years worth of bitter disappointment. In the end, Clayton is merp.

CaseyK 13 - Clayclay 11


Last edited by Monster on Sun, 01.13.13 10:43 pm; edited 1 time in total
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CaseyK



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PostPosted: Sun, 01.13.13 8:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

lol

Sebass is 6'6", athletic, talented, and of indeterminate gender.

I was going to html this into my write up for one of the teams, but considered it too gauche.

You missed my Abe Coffin heckle.
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Chuck



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PostPosted: Sun, 01.13.13 9:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

9/11
Would defer to the more cunning linguist again.
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DrDoug



Joined: 24 Jun 2003
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PostPosted: Sun, 01.13.13 9:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Where have you gone, Nick DiMaggio
FDA turns its lonely eyes to you.

9.8 metaheckle
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ROCOBaller



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PostPosted: Sun, 01.13.13 8:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I wasn't mad, just at work so couldn't take the time to look at them properly - though they would have probably been worse.
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Elvin



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PostPosted: Mon, 01.14.13 11:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm happy this was written so I didn't have to read any of the other write-ups.
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Supafunky



Joined: 07 Apr 2003
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PostPosted: Mon, 01.14.13 8:53 pm    Post subject: Re: Winter League 2013 Write-Up Predictions Reply with quote

Monster (the lesser welch-bolen) (the lesser welch-bolen) wrote:
Although why do we need these antiquated, heteronormative gender constructs? Am I right, Jody?


You are so right. So very right. Also, we don't need antiquated heteronomative gender constructs.

Great write-up. Thanks for the contribution to keeping this board alive Wink
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Ms. Swan



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PostPosted: Mon, 01.14.13 10:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

is there nothing to be said about the yellow team nick Sad
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eeville



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PostPosted: Tue, 01.15.13 9:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Very nice, Nick-
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