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Monster



Joined: 06 Apr 2003
Posts: 2946

PostPosted: Mon, 01.13.14 12:22 am    Post subject: Contenders/Pretenders/Transgenders Reply with quote

Contenders

King king kharl Brown (2-0)
With the second pick in the mens draft and the first overall pick in the womens, its no surprise that Il Duces team is loaded on top tier talent, but whats surprising is how deep the team goes. Its starting line is Abe when I get drunk, I get ferociously drunk Coffin, Justin Bustin, Bagley, Pat Randall, Andrea, plus + two capable role players (Im looking at you Dustin Bit-Olson-Ritter). This team is athletic, experienced, and hungry. Odds on Vegas favorites.

Tangent #1: I proposed this on the fields, but what if Il Duce did away with a mens/womens draft and put everyone in the same pool regardless of sex? At what point would Andrea get drafted? This is a fair point, because defensively Andrea creates the biggest mismatch problem of any player in league, and from an offensive perspective, a dude should always be guarding her (strategy hint #1). Bustin proposed she should go in the low first round, which no one could really argue with.

Jacob Baby Blue (2-0)
This team had the first upwinder of the day, and it proved prophetic in the win column. Jacobs team is as deep as Il Duces and Kaps, but it also has the advantage of strategy and experience. With a starting line of Jacob, Matty J, BWB, Paul, Ryan Patton and Andy + role player, theyre probably the only team in the league that can match-up with Il Duce player for player. Depending on how the tournament is set-up, the best two league teams might be facing off in the divisional championship. If this division had a name (get on your shit together Il Duce), Id recommend putting your money on this division to win the championship, but because it doesn't, we have to name it first. Put a few hundred jermajesties on the Il Duce can't run a league division.

Kaplan Pink (2-0)
This team wasnt really challenged today, but they did what they had to do to pick up the Dubs. They have talent, height, and athleticism in spades, but their strategy wasĶwellĶlacking. I saw six perfect swing passes in a row on their own goal line on the upwind side of the field. Guess what happened on swing number seven? No, no idea? None at all? Well, it rhymes with a burnstover. The opposing team basically had a free goal, but given this was the first day of league and the wind was 20 mph, they just couldnt execute. I predict this team will have a strong regular season, but will crumble in the playoffs in a stunning repeat of Kaplans pink summer league team. Deja vu? More like deja LOSE. Ahahahahahahaha.

Vikki Orange (1-1)
Look, I dont know how often Brosh is going to show up, and I dont know how often ol Rob Cheek is going to show up, but what I do know is that this team has two, TWO people on their team named Wolf. If the Wolf pack cant make it deep into the tourney, then I dont know what to believe in anymore. The major worry about this team is that everyone is too damn chill. You really need at least one dick on your team who tries about 10% too hard and really wants to win because they made the mistake of being unhigh. Congratulations Vikki Orange, youre the Dwight Howard of Winter League 2014.


Transgenders

Casey Boy Red (1-1)
The first thing we have to mention is the 13-0 trucking Casey Boys Red served up to Wills Black. Impressive in any non-forfeit situation. The second thing we need to talk about is that they lost to Brandys White in a game they clearly should of won. Maybe you can chalk this up to first week sloppiness, and maybe you can chalk it up to their egos after the 13-0 skunkfest, but either way, it seems like a pretty good indicator of their season. Great winsĶterrible lossesĶCasey Boy yelling at people regardless. To Reds credit, LBrewMac wasnt there, and shes worth at least a 3 point swing.

Tangent #2: Casey Boy Red had the best sideline situation of any team in league. Not only did they not run out of beer, but they had stuffed oatmeal cookies. STUFFED OATMEAL COOKIES! Every other team needs to raise their motherfucking snack game.

Vlada Hunter Green (0-2)
Despite the two opening day losses, this team will continue to compete. Losing to arguably the two best teams in the league by a total of 4 points is a harbinger of better things to come. If Jones and Danielle Blatt come up from Little Rock on a regular basis, this team will head into the playoffs as a team no one wants to see in the first round. They have size, depth, athleticism, and enough salty hands to cobble it all together. I think theyre a bit too turnover prone to make it into the championship, but in a win or go home scenario, they could derail anyone. Look for this team to bounce back next week.

Jerry Lime Green (1-1)
I watched one of their games for 30 seconds and April turfed it into the grass. True story.

Jody Navy Blue (0-2)
I dont think Jody Navy Blue is as bad as their 0-2 start suggests, but I also dont think this team has the talent that some of Jodys past league teams have had either. Sylvester Dufus and Sean Wylie are great moving parts, but theyre probably better second fiddles than they are lead guitars. When asked if this team was a contender or a pretender, one Heather Ayers replied, This is an Ayers team. Its always a contender. She also said some other great stuff about how Jody needs to use his words more and that she cannot read his mind when he wants her to do something. Classic team Ayers.


Pretenders

Brandy White (2-0)
Wildcard bitches! White team rocks Team Jody 10-5, then upsets Team Casey Boy 8-6. To Whites credit, they were moving the disc well, they looked gelled as a team, and they had some good talent I didnt recognize. To their discredit, one league team always overperforms on the first day, and this team is it. They play a good inside out game, working the disc quickly through the center of the field, but this isnt going to work against 1. Deeper teams with 7 people who can play defense and 2. Good zones. Best case scenario for this team is that they work their way into the playoffs as a middle seed. Worst case scenario is that teams figure out how to play them and they cant find an answer.

Will Sharp Black (1-1)
Will didnt have Stu Allgood, my close and personal friend, so the results were a little skewed, but that 13-0 romping still looks pretty bad. When Brian was there for the early game, they vanquished Yellow 7-5, so theres a little hope on the horizon, but not a lot considering yellow went 0-2. Ive played with the advanced metrics, and I just cant see this team making the playoffs. I mean, Brown Sugar looked terrific, but Adeeb can't carry the team for the entire season. What am I saying, of course he can. HES BROWN SUGAR!

Tim Purple (0-2)
This team appeared in trouble when a disc went out the back of the end zone and Danimal was the one who walked it up to the line to throw it in. If Danimal is your go to handler be prepared for 1. Hammers 2. More Hammers 3. Turnovers in the form of Hammers. It hurt them that their first round pick didnt show, but they did make some good moves with Lex and company handling the disc quickly through a couple zones.

Tangent #3: The award for best dressed goes to Cam and his buddy who were wearing identical bright purple and blaring neon yellow tops AND bottoms. The matching outfits sent me through a rollercoaster of emotion. BewildermentĶperplexitudeĶa gentle niggling humor. I was tempted to ask what the deal was, but the mystery was too beautiful to stain with the vulgarity of truth.

Houston Yellow (0-2)
You would expect the overall first draft to deliver a couple wins (you know, being the best player in town and all), but Abe "no pressure" Gambert (the first overall draft), just couldn't carry his team on his shoulders like an overall first draft should. When asked about the terrible pressure of being the overall first draft, Abe no pressure Gambert said the weight, felt like a thousand elephants sitting on my balls. With Houston going millions over the luxury tax to pay Abes contract, its no wonder the fanbase is expecting a trip to the finals. Look for the fans to start booing Abe if he doesn't get his shit together and start piling up the wins that Houston paid so dearly for.
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Elvin



Joined: 17 Apr 2008
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PostPosted: Mon, 01.13.14 12:54 am    Post subject: Re: Contenders/Pretenders/Transgenders Reply with quote

Monster (the lesser welch-bolen) (the lesser welch-bolen) wrote:
stuffed oatmeal cookies. STUFFED OATMEAL COOKIES!


They're called oatmeal cream pies. Welcome to America, you hippie-raised motherfucker.
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ROCOBaller



Joined: 22 Sep 2005
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PostPosted: Mon, 01.13.14 9:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm super disappointed in Lime's oneliner, Nick, and your blinders. Jody did the same thing 10 seconds later!
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mills



Joined: 12 Jun 2009
Posts: 120

PostPosted: Mon, 01.13.14 10:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

He might have had a chance to see that had you not turfed it...

Also, I'd like to point out that in our (Pink's) game against Purple, Danimal had some of the best upwind backhands on the field (one of which was a 50 yard put to Brad's daughter who caught it in the endzone). It was like super cray-cray.
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DrDoug



Joined: 24 Jun 2003
Posts: 357

PostPosted: Mon, 01.13.14 12:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ROCOBaller wrote:
I'm super disappointed in Lime's oneliner, nick (the lesser welch bolen), and your blinders. Jody did the same thing 10 seconds later!


It's an honor to be the subject of a NWB one-liner, you should know that by now! Welcome home, Nick.

Quote:
Also, I'd like to point out that in our (Pink's) game against Purple, Danimal had some of the best upwind backhands on the field (one of which was a 50 yard put to Brad's daughter who caught it in the endzone). It was like super cray-cray.


I believe both Ruby (Brad's daughter) and Sarah (my daughter) scored at least two points yesterday and Sarah (playing cup) reportedly handpacked Kap. And Solomon (Earl's son) nearly made an incredible snag of a wind-driven crossfield missile. The kids are alright.
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Chuck



Joined: 26 Mar 2009
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PostPosted: Mon, 01.13.14 12:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sounds like Nick_ should have his next bday party at the Little Debbie factory!

http://www.mckeefoods.com/about_us/company_locations/gentry.htm
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ROCOBaller



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PostPosted: Mon, 01.13.14 12:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

mills wrote:
He might have had a chance to see that had you not turfed it...



No, if I hadn't turfed it, his team wouldn't have gotten the disc back
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Cam Wow



Joined: 26 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: Mon, 01.13.14 1:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'll keep it mysterious haha

That was an awesome post to read btw! I'd be pissed too if my team had a one liner after some of that scouting report knowledge you did today.

Jon Mills was correct, it was cray cray when Danimal threw it like 40-50 yards upwind flat disc to Ruby.

To add to my team, we were missing our top guy Clayton like you said, but also missing top girl pick. We moved it well in the tornado yesterday, which was very positive. Idk how long you watched us in our games yesterday, but if you saw any of our first game against Kap, I think they would tell you we moved the disc really well against a zone. We went down 0-3, then played from our own goal line pretty much every drive we had due to Cory Duncan's rip it to the fence and try again strategy (which was a smart strategy for the record). The three key things I saw in my team that I was impressed with, surprised with, etc. were

1) Our two young girls ability to read and catch discs in the tornado gives me the utmost confidence going forward with them. After Ruby caught a 50 yard upwind huck, we got them to turn it over on their goal line and I got one to Sarah Behrend-Wilcox (Dr. Doug's daughter) for a score. They both were phenomenal, and I'm excited for make it take its with the addition of Jamie and Mary to the mix.

2) Zone was working first game, played Jacob's team second game which was a tough matchup for sure, and we switched zones to different one and had better success. I think we are versatile and can mix it up to what we need to do versus different teams. I'm hoping there is wind this league, but maybe six times less strong next time.

3) Our team looks like it can mesh well despite what record and score may say. I think we looked comfortable together. I love playing with Clay Mohr, I feel like he knows where I'm going to go before I do. I'd stop on a dime and turn around and the disc was already coming. That's the way I felt with most my team, every person made a play, every person helped and contributed. There was no weak link.

Nick I hope you keep writing on the season, it's fun to read sir.
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SharpWill28



Joined: 28 Feb 2009
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PostPosted: Mon, 01.13.14 4:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

To call me a pretender is to assume I want to win.

I do want to win, but not the silly tournament A-bracket. What do you get then? A trophy that you have to give back? A picture on a website that 23 people will look at? No no. That's not what it is about. My team is a real contender for the b-bracket where you win beer, something that brings me actual enjoyment. Enjoy your petty trophy and 10 minutes of fame. And I'll enjoy my three hours of drunk.

Great write up, Nick. In all seriousness, for a mediocre team like mine, it's much better to be in the b-bracket. In my opinion, no one has a chance to be Brown in the tournament. Abe, Pat, Bagley, and Andrea are well known talents, but Jordan Ramsey and Cable Hogue are rookie athletes that will be studs if they stick. In the tournament finals or semis, I assume king kharl's competitive spirit will kick in and he will be the first FDA league coach, screaming defenses and strategies, leading his team to victory and sparking a fat cigar as he watches Abe throw scores to Andrea for the 1726337th time.

Excited for the rest of league.
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Chuck



Joined: 26 Mar 2009
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PostPosted: Mon, 01.13.14 4:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

SharpWill28 wrote:
Enjoy your petty trophy and 10 minutes of fame. And I'll enjoy my three hours of drunk.


But if you get a suitable trophy, you can drink free beer from it at the tournament party! (cf. 2012 Fall League Champions, Mojos afterparty)
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Cam Wow



Joined: 26 Jan 2009
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PostPosted: Mon, 01.13.14 6:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Charles that was winter league that we got the trophy to drink out of, fall league we won also, but we just got pie.
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Chuck



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PostPosted: Mon, 01.13.14 7:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Cam Wow wrote:
Charles that was winter league that we got the trophy to drink out of, fall league we won also, but we just got pie.

Oh my bad. My four consecutive championships all kinda blur together...
Cool
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Cam Wow



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PostPosted: Mon, 01.13.14 9:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

yeah yeah yeah....too bad you can't regain your title huh? You need to keep coming out to heckle, analyze, stir up trouble also.
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Supafunky



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PostPosted: Mon, 01.13.14 9:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Chuck wrote:
Oh my bad. My four consecutive championships all kinda blur together... Cool


Proof that it's more than 10 minutes of fame.

If you never shut up about it.
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Monster



Joined: 06 Apr 2003
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PostPosted: Tue, 01.14.14 5:42 am    Post subject: Re: Contenders/Pretenders/Transgenders Reply with quote

Elvin wrote:
They're called cream pies.


The entire goal of writing that was to troll someone into typing the word cream pies.

It took Evan exactly 30 minutes.
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